Confessions...of a die hard shipper.

I've to get this off my chest.
It's been on my mind for ages and now...
it's time for the world to know....

I ship KURT MIKE SO EFFIN HARD it's affecting my....enjoyment of certain fics. I need to stop being so obsessive over mindless trivial frivolities like OTPs.

Why can't I be obsessive with school like I do with OTP.

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I wonder if I should start tagging all my rants. Maybe one day...

Anyways, my life's been proceeding as it should - at a sluggish pace, considering the stage at which I am at right now. Went for my newborn nephew's circumcision yesterday. Yes, not the ceremony - the actual procedure. Watching it had given me mixed feelings. Yes, I was thinking of ethical issues while I was there being a part of it. I feel a tad terrible, especially when the babe cried.

But I really really freaked out when the doctor did the injection because there was blood and well, since I'm biologically a boy (male, man, whatever. Same thing.) I winced. I couldn't even see the actual cutting part - I just shut my eyes but that somehow made things worse. SNIP SNIP SNIP.


It REALLY REALLY makes me think hard whether or not I should go down the biomedical path or not.

Thinking of a university course is killing me. Architecture? Horticulture? Biological sciences? Biomedical? English/Lit? Psych/Socio?

Still racking my brains figuring out what to apply for, where. Things are different now then they were two years back. Seriously, why can't I just go for a liberal arts degree programme? Oh yeah, cos I'm dirt poor. (Well, not that well-off to be precise, this is my rant so I can exaggerate a little bit right?) Doesn't help that my dad may be out of a job soon, considering his company lost some major contract and is already laying off/firing staff. Not that he didn't foresee this but the employment market is rubbish now. And at his age, it'll be a miracle if he manages to even secure a job.

And relatives around my age/hierachy level are getting married/engaged left right centre. Don't even mention attachment. My uncles keep bugging me about 'that girl we saw you that day' (And I have NO clue which girl because yeah...I have a LOT of female friends.) My grandmother? I'm just avoiding her - doubt she'll read this anyways. Doesn't help that she's been having weird mood swings and is insisting that I show myself soon. Doesn't help at all when I just found out that some of my relatives are waiting to matchmake me. And not to mention the eldest grandchild will be getting engaged. My sister's dating some guy online (as usual). So the immediate hierachy?

1) Soon to be engaged
2) Me.
3) Dating
4) Married
5, 6, 7...) Dating...i think. Or was it dated? Whatever.

Can I scream now? I just wanna crawl in a hole and hide until I'm 70 or something so no one would question my choices. I mean seriously people, can't we all have modern thinking? Marriage isn't all that important. ARGH!!!

And I need to seriously kick myself for just not being able to write again, despite the plethora of muses. T.T


This past week has been one wonderful blend of meeting familiar faces and catching up. Had a new guy at work today who I do believe is close to perfection - by that I meant, an awesome colleague. Then again, my standards of perfection has dropped dramatically by several notches having met a certain somebody. *rolls eyes* Haha. Work is like a dream now. Okay, more like a pseudo-nightmare.

Had lunch with Lim and Charlie sometime back and even while I'm half-nodding to sleep (much to my chagrin), somehow, we managed to discuss the possibility of vampires. And we came up with a rather crazed hypothesis on how vampires can develop though it eludes me now. I just remember something about vampires being able to photosynthesize in a way (by indirect sunlight/moonlight) thus not needing to breathe; hence the living corpse association. And the reason why they require blood could possibly be due to plasma being the 'nutrient' that they need to replenish. And let's not even go into the existence of spirits. Just the mere thought is enough to kill me. Goodness, we spent goodness knows how long trashing out our theories.

If you're creeping back, sorry to have perturbed you.

Was supposed to go for the Bugis Fame Flashmob but due to late proceed call, I missed the entire thing by 5 minutes. Missed out on all the fun. BUT at least I finally met Yoshi face to face. And Karen and Tin and Jun after so long! (Though I'm sorry for just stoning away and not participating in any convos. Then again, I don't talk business. Have no acumen.)

Today was just freaking fantastic. I mean come on, PBMA!!! Haha. FINALLY met Zaki after what? 4 years? Though I just cannot believe how people can forget him. I mean, hello? Sure, the guy's changed physically (lost his baby fat) AND grew his fringe but no major difference to me. And I realised just how comfy Fariq is as a seat when four guys had to squeeze at the back of Amirul's car.

And then we played a rather weird but fun session of floorball. Or attempted to anyways. It was just lovely to see so many familiar faces! off to nap.

Oh and Nat! I RECEIVED YOUR LOVE! I'm on the hunt for a suitable one for you so please be patient kay? Love ya lots!

Being ridic but I deserve my cake!

Insomnia strikes again - then again, as Viki made me realise earlier today, "You don't see the sunlight either." (When we were somehow discussing patterns. Of what, I shan't say. Confidential stuff. *snorts*)

Hence, the reason for this incredibly weird rant! Blame twitter.

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First post of the new year and it's about a freaking test. T.T

Considering it's oh...13 days OVER DUE, happy new year to all.

Okay, having done that, 2010 has so far been smooth-sailing with minor blips along the way. I'm NOT getting involved in weird pseudo-family problems, I've actually started writing (all thanks to Bibi!) and I think that's about it. Work so far has been I can only hope for better things to come this turn of the post-noughties but I highly doubt it. BUT 2010 looks set to be jam-packed with weddings and 21st birthday celebrations.

Being legally recognised as an adult in society may seem like a huge deal to a LOT of my peers but somehow, I just don't see the need to go all out. I think it's likely that I'm just going to the orphanage and offload cash or gifts or something. AND then out at the old folks home. I'm still figuring things out but yeah, no party. Then again, the LAST time I had a 'party', it was...eons ago. Hah - let's family forgot my 16th, my 18th was oh...forgettable. And the  last time I had a cake was before I got enlisted. Yes, I think I'm the only one who gets Enlistment Cake courtesy of my ever lovable Rabbit Crew. ilu girls so so so much!

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Angstwhore...damn, I may have found my reason.

Life...has been well I would say Life. There's always those little ups and downs which I can elaborate much later if I choose to. Doubt there's anyone online who'll be willing to talk about this so hey, I figured I might as well blog about it.

While reading this mindblowingly good break-up fic about my new OTP in Star Trek (in my memories. Slash - I don't read anything else...mostly), I had this epiphany. Just realised why I never want to fall in love. God, this is going to sound awkward and weird but gotta get it off my chest. I think it's because I'm a coward when it comes down to it.

Kinda reminds me of a quote Bibi once sent me:

"You reject romantic notions because of matrimonial ties yet you reject matrimonial ties because of it."

Haha, Bibi and her random quotes that never fail to make my day and make me think. God, I suddenly feel so exposed after writing this but this shall remain!

I shall go to sleep now because in oh...twelve hours time I have to go back and do a rehearsal. Why do people NOT tell me about such stuff ahead of time? I have NO idea what to wear now, let alone what to perform. T.T I've forgotten the full Nobody dance steps. Bleh.

And SBS Gayo was effin amazing. Alright, I gotta sleep now but whoa revelation.

Time flies by fast when you start to lose track.

Strange how I was all ready with a proper entry explaining my lack of recent posts and now I'm at a loss of what to write.

I'm praying hard that my friends in the Phillipines are fine though.

It seems straight out of fiction when one natural disaster after another strikes. Aish, my thoughts are with everyone affected by the various calamities.

Alright, I HAVE to sleep now lest I actually become a real casualty for tomorrow's final exercise. I can't believe that I may actually be a medic come Friday.

Take care my lovely f-list!

PS: Starting from this entry onwards, I'm f-locking my personal entries.

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Sometimes I feel like I'm studying Medicine or Nursing rather than being a Medical Orderly. T.T
Wonder if I can pass tmr's test when I'm starting not to give a damn.

God, one stage is over and I'm just waiting for the next.

I'll make this entry a short one because my parents are bugging at me for not cleaning up the mess in my room. I've finally completed the basic rescue training phase of conscription, meaning that I'm now awaiting for my vocation. I could end up as a medic or whatever vocation that's available. I have seriously no idea if I can even make it as a medical orderly though, considering my fitness level. Yes, I still managed to fail the physical proficiency test and the obstacle course test (even when the latter had been 'discounted').

So many things have happened in the span of two weeks; from going into a gas chamber to performing Nobody on stage (again for the nth time. GOD, I am starting to hate the song. Gimme Gee or better yet Abracadabra please). I can't believe that it's all over now - recruit life I mean.

Yet at the same time, I'm glad that it's over. I'm now 3 months down, another 21 more months to go before I say aufwiedersehen to NS.

I've been trying to get back into writing again but with little time to spare, it's akin to flogging a dead horse. God, I just want time off to concentrate and finish at least one freaking series. Which reminds me, I need to delete ADKOP from my fictionpress account, considering I have NO idea where the hell the story's headed to. It's got several potential endings and none of them are any good. With regards to writing fandom-related fics, I've been swamped with ideas but gah, by the time I do find pen and paper, the stories just can't translate well. ESPECIALLY the ones related to Battle. T.T Sorry Jun, looks like you gotta wait a long while until I can finish that onkey fic for you.

Hmm, what else? Ah yes, my personal life has been shitty. Perhaps I'm getting desensitized but now, I don't feel bothered at all by the fact that I have a curfew at 9pm again. Oh and I have to avoid going to certain places. I won't and cannot get into the details here since this is a public post after all. :p F-locked ftw.

Before I sign off, since the fasting month is here, I'd like to wish my fellow muslims happy fasting. :)

Take care lovelies and I shall update asap about the vocation outcome. All the best to those who are gonna take their exams and starting school!

EDIT: I got Medic as my vocation. Totally awesome thus far. :)