"Sometimes I feel like I'm a piece of driftwood. When the tides of time comes, I move off - sometimes leaving a part of me, othertimes, taking a part of others with me but I continue to move on. I can barely stay stuck."
And I guess it is true. Even later, when we met up with the whole group, I feel so damn fucking alienated (what's new?). And while they were laughing, I was contemplating how to disappear. And briefly toyed with the idea of well...going for eternity via shot to the head; which thankfully I have no access for. I am rather impulsive. Let's put it that way - not the first time the idea has struck me.
I wonder if I'm back to being the depressive bag that I was back when I was 12 or maybe it's just that time of the month or perhaps it's because the super moon coming or something. *shrugs*
I need to stop thinking too much as well. But seriously, I think it's doable. The whole disappearing thing. I'm going to experiment with it - figure out if anyone realised. I highly doubt it. I can just switch my phone off, delete my online persona. But at the same time, I don't want it to be permanent. More temporal. Weird huh? If I were to deactivate my emails, can I reactivate them back? What about facebook? Hmm...